Evanescence

Constance

2008-11-18T20:54:00.009+08:00

The change is constant, constant means change
For a soul who endeavors massive rocky plains
As I walk tirelessly, surviving on self belief
That a change shall return, and return my dreams

Change then presents itself, granted me a pitch
When hopes rise to the mountain tip, and drown into the seas
As I seeks refuge in constant, the more furious is change
And why does it swing so hard, when I hold unto you harder??

Would change then bring my dream closer? And what would I need
To ride on change, without falling flat on my face
I dream of you every night and day,
And have you felt the sincerity, that lies deep within the footsteps
Of the little walk in the past 65 days

And one day, I fear my journey might end
When change decides to rid of me, and my tiny self believe
That you are a god-sent, where every moment tastes sweet
until change becomes constant, and devours every bit of me

Do well Sweetie

2008-11-12T19:14:00.005+08:00

It's the 3rd day becoming "friends" with you =) There are so many things I want to talk and laugh with you but.. I don't know if now is the right time.

It's your 3rd day of work as well. Is the environment conducive? Is your PC finally here? Are the colleagues friendly? haha.. so many questions on my mind actually =P

But never mind la! I'll be patient.

By the way, really glad to hear from you tonite =]

Go go Kube!

2008-09-19T00:26:00.003+08:00

2 of my 3 yearly goals is achieved *applause* and now the last!
Kube is undergoing a rigorous system test-run.

Had a big headache when deciding between capital cost and time. Still..i prefer cash businesses =)

By the way, moving into software programming and financial planning soon!

all about timing, opportunities and money

2008-07-23T16:56:00.003+08:00

i never thought things would turn out like this. they suddenly announced the investment of RM 10 mil on building infrastructure and software systems massively nationwide, and sells exactly the same thing, with 90% the same system and market. i couldn't help but to sit and read through the articles in silent agony

sometimes building a business is just like this - when we have the vision of a future market, we must grab that opportunity FAST. and to grab opportunity we need cash. a lot of times when both are not available at the same time, it's just gone..

i'll be lying if i said this news did not affect me much.. well, the frustration is there, time has been put into the project, all i need to do is to move forward

Wouldn't your bachelor degree be wasted??

2008-07-14T00:19:00.007+08:00

Scenario A

XX : hey kinlik! why aren't you applying for engineering jobs?
Me : nope
XX : wouldn't your 4 years in uni be a waste??

Post-Scenario A

XX : hey kinlik! what r u doing now?
Me : i'm a music teacher! ^^
XX : O.O wouldn't your 4 years in uni be a waste??

both scenarios repeated again and again for the past 11 months, and i thought it's time to write up a script of my answer to make my life a little bit easier.

but before i state anything down, let's ponder on some of my critics against common beliefs. i invite everybody (yes, including the professors and mensa geniuses) to look through them below

Since when universities are meant for a stepping stone to careers?
Does majoring in any academic field automatically confines the student to what he must work as upon graduation?
Does getting 5 scrolls bring a person anywhere in his life?
what is defined as waste anyway?

it was never meant to be one. a university is a place that prepares students to understand the meaning of life. you learn about family and friendship, genuine and ugly ones. it is a place of infinite learning possibilities and opportunities. if you value books enough, you'll know what i mean. it is also a place that makes you tough and steady for facing years of emotional onslaught (especially when for a non-local taking its first steps without knowing anyone)

the recognition of a puny degree must never be the only reason to be in university.
but given the status quo, it has became one. reasons? education is a recession-proof industry, parents get "face" if their son or daughter is a degree holder, companies benchmarking freshies with CGPAs and the hopeless education systems that builds brainless robots. society norms has distorted the perception of the general public. possession of a degree now equals to pride and cash

i sincerely believe we have to look beyond the norm, because it is the little and intricate things in life that give us the best of everything.

so... what have i learnt from university? i've learnt:

to cherish the precious moments i have
to be the contrarian
that retirement planning works only if it's started early
that right and wrong is a social standard
to respect time
to respect money
to manage public relations
that some people boast high IQ but suck in EQ
the definition of success
that people are selfish
that it's only natural to be selfish
that there's too much more to be listed

Yay! Now feast on the answers as much you want. lol

the C U L P R I T (part 3)

2008-06-22T20:38:00.003+08:00

My beloved iCute Duo Core was fine and dandy when I was back in Kajang, and suddenly in early June, it literally shutdown up to 20 fucking times without fail in ONE (1) DAY! This is ridiculously annoying. No more tries and tests. No more to the PC store. All uninvited particles are removed, all unnecessary components unplugged. Casing locked on, PC reformatted.

Who was the culprit? Nothing to do with CPU fan malfunctioning and overheating. Nothing to do with underpowered power supply. Not the dust's fault also. It ended up to be the two auxilliary fans. THEY SHORT-CIRCUITED =.=

When the fans are removed, there were zero shutdowns until today.

Case closed on 20th June 2008.

i love music; i might not

2008-05-11T21:15:00.005+08:00

dear jaz is in kajang for the week. it's all excitement n musical.
she was coughing n tired, perhaps due to the busy preceding week, trips n all.

i like her music. while blogging behind her she played some church music, i think. it felt sad. whenever i hear people saying that music lifts spirits, and people play to release their "tensions", i couldn't help but giggle silently in the heart.

music was never a remedy for bad moods, it's an amplifier. a person who plays a solemn piece in a bad mood fills you in his position. Prokofiev's compositions were born under Stalinist rule, not knowing when the KGBs would storm in and shoot him down. Mozart endured poverty when he wrote and played music. A person in love can play a music so charming and joyful it makes you envious

when the music stopped, she picked up d phone called her mom, sobbing. must have really missed her mom. i guess that was what induced the sentiments

be strong, jaz!!

feeling weird (x_x)

2008-01-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!

lost my hadouken spirit these few days
where have my ambitions gone?

kinlik, kinlik.. WAKE UP!

the C U L P R I T (part 2)

2008-01-30T01:12:00.000+08:00

now that 6600 GT is out of the scene, who qualifies for the next suspect?? is it the monitor?? maybe not. tried with aa's LCD and the same thing happened. hmm..

Potential Culprit 2: Dust
i heard that dust might carry conductor materials on. d layers of dust on my everything-you-can-call-them-cards in my cpu may just be it! frequent tiny short circuit may be triggering the auto-shutdown mechanism of say, the power supply?

it might also be the layers of the dust on the processor fan, and it seems heat couldn't find their way out. And this time perhaps the auto-shutdown mechanism of the processor.

Short-term solution: wipe the layers of dust, only to see them rendezvous again in 2 days time.

Long-term solution: dissect the processor fan (the heat sink is HOT), remove the dust.

happily, the sudden show-down rate has decreased about 40% of the time.. but then again, what's with the other 60%? investigation is resumed~

the C U L P R I T (part 1)

2008-01-27T00:37:00.000+08:00

my beloved pc has been restarting herself a trillion times since last semester. with in-depth observation and thorough "analysis", it seemed like these were highly potential causes of the havoc wrecked

Potential Culprit 1: The Graphic Card
it has been an issue since i got my Nvidia 6600 GT from Sang Ye 1.5 years ago for 200 bucks, and ever since, there has been occasional display problems. monitor goes blank and cpu refuses to start-up (or shut down)

Short-term solution: pull out monitor port and reattach it. There's a 20% chance that it comes back alive

Long-term solution: erm, 6600 burnt last December while i was feasting on Hellgate: London. now reverted to motherboard's graphic card *peace*

however, the *PROBLEM STILL EXISTS*

My final semester!

2008-01-27T00:19:00.000+08:00

Finally the 8th and final jail term!

Haha, not exactly as horrible, but it feels nice knowing the days of earning real cash is getting real near.

Major tasks in this semester:
--> fly, KUBE, fly!
--> complete my germicidal lamp production plant write-up with ground-breaking speed
--> fulfill my contract for SL by March
--> *forgot*
--> celebrate Chinese New Year~

Hopes:
@ utm debates will continue to grow and flourish
@ jasmine getting distinction for theory
@ my dad striking the lottery

i smell the next phase of liafe*

*quoted from Cerventus

No, I'm not dead!

2008-01-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

YES, i'm alive!
NO, i'm not dead!

lol, it's really been awhile since logging in.
well, time to catch up!

it hurts, and it hurts so much

2007-08-23T01:41:00.000+08:00

went for a regular bowl of indomie mee goreng for supper..
got a little burn on the edge of my palm when i accidentally held the metallic part of the handler while washing it up. it's a pain that comes gradually, worse as time passes, then goes off eventually

it's the kind of torment when u sent me that message in response of mine in july, a decision that should have and "had" been made months ago for a step we never should have took after the first, a taboo, an action that had consoled yet devastated both u and me

it was clear but unclear, it was confusing and hesitating, it was all just plain stupid. it was a result that was already expected, it was a bond never meant to be

we loved, needed and were there for each other.. thank you for the calls and encouragement, support and guidance, fun and companionship for the past few months, and i know u appreciated mine as well

it was a dream come true, and i still remember your words on that beautiful Sunday, when we first took each others' tingling hands and lips.. "we could had have each other"

i loved you, and i still do.. goodbye

Back on track~

2007-08-20T02:48:00.000+08:00

things are getting back on track~

sharing some joy with yu tian and seniors for tomorrow's convo (erm.. later today? =P )..!
no more double classes in SL + a precious 5-day break - enough time for my PSM, assignments & hobbies. Wahaha..

the sad part is missing kajang frens' gathering.. missed all of you.. T.T

PHP vs ASP

2007-08-17T12:16:00.000+08:00

it was an amazing journey during the months of july and august! finally sat back and really enjoying life as a web developer wannabe

started with HTML, XHTML, CSS and now, Javascript, PHP and later XML.. wonder how AJAX is used..

moreover, there'll so much more hybrid languages emerging in the future..

For server-side scripting, i chose PHP over ASP for the following reasons:
1. It's FREE
2. It's a C-based language, very familiar and easy to adapt
3. Works in both IIS and Apache
4. Platform conversion to total L(inux)A(pache)M(ySQL)P(HP)

the only setback now is setting up the Apache server. Gruesome process since i know nuts about cgi-bin, or knowledge on compilation in Visual Basic C++

gonna get over with this soon.. See to it!

Frust Week ==> Critical Level <==

2007-08-17T00:12:00.000+08:00

1. Accused of stealing some pathetic papers
2. Ever changing tuition classes - a center that bitches the hell out of you on "integrity" and "responsibility" and then gives you DOUBLE classes and pays you for ONE
3. Mixing with people who wants EVERYTHING and be responsible for NOTHING
4. ANOTHER accusation of stealing. shitpie
5. Waiting whole night for groups that goes out for happy hour, park their cars at the gate, and comes back just to tell you - 你还冲了凉，打了DOTA？整个村在等你！I've checked at least 5 damn times to see if u guys are back. Took a bath came out and all this. Now who's waiting for who?

There's only so much one can tolerate.

Dudes, fuck you all.

Long Time

2007-08-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile.. moved into my new home in Jln Kebangsaan, a 3-storey house and BIG rooms! it's a dream come true~
(even though i need to pay both college dorms and here) but hey, it's hell lot of freedom and 24-hrs internet!
2 extremely vital elements. Must enjoy this one year. ~MUST~

Illustrator Guide & PANTONE

2007-06-29T22:06:00.000+08:00

Today's special: Adobe Illustrator CS2 video tutorial series!
Add-on: PANTONE color guide!

it turned out to be a colorful day to get a hold of the duo combo
Illustrator is a much preferable software when it comes to letters and fonts
it emphasizes sharper edges, and almost unseen smudges - cool for name cards, CD labels and banners!

say, where does pale orange and striking purple stand?
Solution: refer to PANTONE guide! Apple Inc has made it a point to provide tons of articles and perception on man's behavior towards color sets

can't help but to give Apple two thumbs-up for their contribution ^_^

the urls are awarded "my fave sites" recognition -- and they'll remain!

平井坚 Ken Hirai

2007-06-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

我： “你平时听那累的歌噢？”
芬： “很多喔...”
我： “较喜欢的呢？可以即刻想起的两个~”
芬： “呃...就Ken Hirai和Ayaka吧！”

获取了才芬的专业advice就到百度捞歌...
原来之前在988听过,只是不懂歌手而已~
两首非常棒的 - ひとみをとじて和LIFE is
听了真感动...
一齐欣赏吧!

Life is... ~another story~

自分を強く見せたり
自分を巧く見せたり
どうして僕らはこんなに
息苦しい生き方選ぶの?

目深にかぶった帽子を
今日は外してみようよ
少し乱れたその髪も
可愛くて僕は好きだよ

風におどる枯葉
濡れた芝生の匂い
君と寝ころんで見上げた何も無い空

答えなど何処にもない
誰も教えてくれない
でも君を想うとこの胸は
何かを叫んでるそれだけは真実

むき出しの言葉だけを
片端に捨てたあの日
その向こうの優しさに
今なら気付けていたのに

凍えそうなベンチ
寄り添う恋人たち
いくつもの愛のことばが生まれては消える

永遠は何処にもない
誰も触れることはない
でも君が笑うとその先を
信じてみたくなる手を伸ばしたくなる

答えなど何処にもない
誰も教えてくれない
でも君を想うとこの胸は
痛みを抱きしめるそれだけが真実

A productive day

2007-06-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

it's the first time takin an MC!
tak boleh tahan, better rest & heal than work & get worse

n this may be d only day to travel out
went to EPF office, CIMB, then USJ (and subsequently Subang Giant, MyDin, Subang Parade..)
wanted to visit Kathryn in Kelana Jaya to get books

but it's gotten late because my car keys are left inside the car, darn
75% efficiency, not bad wo... better than normal days!

韩国R＆B天后 - 朴正炫

2007-06-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

Lena is an American-Korean R & B singer, ranging from English, Korean to even Japanese
accidentally terserempak with her 5th album when hacking into ah loon's ext hard disk (yes, it's what we call fate)

she does hip hop, jazz, rock, blues, techno, ballade.. you name it, she has it..!
and Lena has a strong yet soothing voice to back them up
something (i'm searching for this "thing") makes her distinct from Ayumi, BoA and Kaoru

now, it's become a personal mission to understand her songs
total vocal control.. all hail the diva!

Lena Park

专辑名称：《On & On》
发行时间：2005年4月13日

专辑里第十首《迷儿》

7th Week

2007-06-10T18:38:00.000+08:00

it's the seventh week of training!

the interesting thing is, there's a fifth person leaving LTM
now, isn't that number kind of high?

there were 2 farewell parties, 3 treats (consecutively KFC and Pizza Hut *eew*)
5 leavers and 2 injury cases.

the last to leave was Low, the "Sarjan" who "wah si" in the electrical maintenance room
we're gonna miss u!

面粉果！

2007-06-10T17:59:00.000+08:00

虽然已经很久没“下手”
今天终于煮了面粉果！
肉碎+冬菇+一些不明菜体（呵呵，对菜没什么研究）

味道果然不错
胡椒粉有点太多，吃了两餐~
一个字 - 爽！

Wanted Weekend

2007-06-10T15:21:00.000+08:00

it's finally friday!
2 days of rest and time for diggin info~

this 1 month of training has been very assuring
assuring of how "yin sat" this world is
well.. it's not something new, that's why i'm already digging my way out

==I WILL NOT WORK AS AN ENGINEER== Never!

i'll do it for my passion, but not as a career
4 yrs to becomin an irvine is just too long
would be far ahead by then
i can only see absolute uncertainty should i walk this path

so Boss, i'm gonna pass your offer =)

1st Step

2007-06-10T15:13:00.000+08:00

UTM, here i come!
it was a real hot day, spending 3.5 hours cramped in a car stuffed with luggages
it was most relieving to make a stop at skudai~
(thanks mom n dad)
stayed over in Goodhope (i think), and pre-toured the oversized campus

felt totally excited
cuz hey, it's the beginning of the next phase of my life!!

FREEDOM!

i'm finally here!

2007-06-10T14:57:00.000+08:00

ppl have been asking, "don't u blog?"
my answer was a straight no
i've always felt that it's too publicized, takes up lots of time (especially when there's no readily available connection) and, being me, i never liked talking about my stuff..
unless i needed to~

but hey, what do u know?
things took for a change
and now i'm part of the blogger community
(so, hi bloggers!! *waving arm*)
well, i realized that it's important to jot down the beautiful memories (and also the ugly ones, ya) of our lives!
so tS here (my nick, if you buddies haven't know it), has finally chose to reveal his DARKEST SECRETS to the virtual world!!

most of the most important events of my life happened in campus..
so even though i've been like 3 years there, i swear to retrace my extremely selected ROM in my brain
this is my story, and it all started in june 2004.